I Sometimes Wonder Why God Makes Me Dream About You
It was one of those lonely nights when the world was quiet and everything around me looked pretty and peaceful. It was one of those nights when I didn’t have much on my mind but a lot in my heart and that’s when I talked to God. I told him everything.
I told him how lonely I’ve been and how I’m confused as to why I keep making wrong decisions, as to why I keep loving the wrong people.
I told him how I can take anything but I can’t take another heartbreak. I can’t take another unspoken goodbye.
I told him how I’m thankful for everything and how I appreciate all his blessings but I asked him to take care of the part he’s been neglecting, I asked him to focus a little bit more on my heart. I asked him to heal my heart.
I asked him to erase the pain and the heartbreak. I asked him to make my heart forget about all the times it got rejected and all the time it was left behind.
I asked him to take away the bitterness and the resentment and replace it with forgiveness and love.
I asked him to heal my heart so it can feel brand new.
I asked him to bring me the right person. I told him to only make me fall for the one who wants to stay.
And then I went to sleep with a smile on my face because I knew that God heard me. I knew he was listening. I knew that such a chaste and honest moment cannot be overlooked. This is what God loves. This is what he wants.
Then I had a dream about you. You came to visit me and we spent the whole day together. It was a beautiful dream. A happy one.
And sometimes I think that dreams are just God’s way of speaking to us, guiding us or giving us a hint, a sign or an answer we’ve been desperately searching for.
I looked up and thanked God because it was just a dream but this was his answer.
The answer to all my prayers. The remedy that will heal my heart.
I think he wanted to reassure me that I’m not crazy, that I don’t have to look so hard, that I don’t have to try to find love in all the wrong places.
His answer was clear and simple, the answer that I secretly already knew, the answer that you will know too, eventually….the answer is you.
Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.